Exotic Fair
Okay, stop right there. The Peloponnesian War is not a party theme. Also to be avoided are any generally obscure battles, skirmishes, cultural clashes or themes too easily reenacted using bed linens. How about Arabian Nights? Sure, some sloppy girl is going to show up her "I Dream Of Genie" gear, but there's no such thing as too many belly dancers. Even most small town delis now know their baklava from their baba ganoush.

• Order a couple of platters of stuffed grape leaves, grab some hummus, toast up some pita bread and get those tea lights out.
• You can beg, borrow or buy inexpensive swaths of sari-inspired fabric and drape your faded couch. If things get a little slow, show Aladdin or Sinbad with the mute on.
• For sound, try something by Egyptian drummer Hossam Ramzy or Solace, an American-based band with tribal influences.
• Heavy-handed, this party theme can come across as desperate and more-than-slightly silly. Use a light touch and this is a playful, sexy and just funny enough to make a lasting impression.

The Worst Movie Ever

• Give in to your worst impulses: rent the Gigli DVD and serve your guests roast turkey with all the trimmings.
• Show Josie and The Pussycats, hand out toy cat-o' nine tails and pass the sushi.
• Come on, people, work with me. Pick a stinker and celebrate it! Showgirls, the Mecca of muck, doesn't mean everyone has to wear body glitter and mismatched colored contacts, but wouldn't it be great if they did? Settle for setting up a strobe light, serve cheeseburgers and display all things Vegas. Come on, Baby, show me your Black Velvet Elvis.