What’s not to love about free candy? What’s not to adore about semi-acceptable vandalization of private property? The shops around my neighborhood stop selling eggs two days before Halloween, that’s how rampant is the egging. Think about that for a second—how wild is it that for one long night, you are allowed, encouraged, even to go to a stranger’s home and demand loot or you’ll trash their lawn? That, my friends, is sanctioned extortion. Too bad it ends by the time you hit your teens: we should have Trick-Or-Treat for adults, where we can demand director’s–cut DVDs and Blackberries or the poor sap will get a tax audit.