Summer is here! And, like most people, I love the golden glow of sunkissed skin. And, like most people, the free time I have available to dedicate to the tedious task of tanning is nonexistant, as is my desire for wrinkles and Melanoma.
Hooray for bronze in a bottle! Great tan, no health hazards, and if patience is your most underdeveloped virtue, you're in luck. This stuff works fast. I've been using it for years without incident. No horrible orange hue, no streaky disasters, no drippy mess. But all good things must come to an end.
Last evening, I met some friends for a drink. The night was warm, the sky clear, a beautiful balmy breeze filled the air with the salty smell of the sea. Summertime had finally inched its way past the weeks of June gloom and visions of outdoor fun danced through our heads. In my head, man, I had a great tan.
Upon returning home, one cocktail under my belt working hard to exaggerate my bikini-bearing daydream, I decided it would be a good idea to dig out that bottle of instant tanner from behind the cotton balls, boxes of soap, old makeup brushes and half used bottles of shampoo and slather myself silly with it. In the dark. Then go to bed. Immediately.
No, this was not my finest moment, not the moment I would use to exemplify my excellent decision making skills, nor was this morning the moment I would choose to bear that bikini. I look like I've been rag rolled by a six year old.
The big lesson here? When it comes to the bottle, confidence works best when used with caution.
